The Perfect Christmas Gift

Well, this Christmas I’ve decided to give all my friends and family something very special. Something that no one else will think to give. Something that will make their Christmas stand out above all the rest. I’m giving, “Gasoline”!!!! No, not one of those cheap, red and green paper envelopes containing a thoughtless plastic gift card, good at the local Gas and Go station, but an actual wrapped 5 gallon container of real gasoline. This is something they’ll all use and appreciate.

I’ve been wrapping all week and I just finished the last one. The presents look great under the tree. Each wrapped with bright red paper and a big gold bow attached to the tip of the poring spout. So many, they take up most of the living room. 14 huge wrapped packages with bows …… 70 gallons of gasoline under and around the twinkling Christmas tree.  As pretty as a picture on a Hallmark card. A couple were leaking, but I fixed that. I just lifted them off their side and sat them up straight. The carpet should dry before Christmas Day.

When you first walked into the house, you did notice a slight odor. But, I fixed that. I bought 3 dozen of those little green tree, air fresheners down at “Gentle Fingers Car Wash and Fake Tanning Salon”.  You’ve seen them before.  The ones really cool people hang on their rearview mirror. They’re perfect. All 36 of them hanging through out the house.  No one will, ever suspect they’re there to cover the gas order.  They look like normal Christmas decorations. This is going to be the biggest Christmas ever!!!!

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